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Struggling with NaNo

I participate in NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) every year and I am struggling this year! To win NaNo, you write at least 50,000 words in the month of November. Then you get to pat yourself on the back, put on your winner's shirt, and feel accomplished. I have already purchased my winner's shirt, since I know that helps motivate me to write all the words.

Black t-shirt with a leopard on a tree branch, the moon above him, stars around him. Below him is an open book with 2023 on one side. Beside the book is a cat who is looking up at the leopard. There are plants and things around it. All of this is in white. It says NaNoWriMo in white and WINNER in pink.
2023 NaNoWriMo Winner's Shirt

I started out NaNo doing really well. I'm pantsing more than usual (writing by the seat of your pants, aka, not having a plan for the book), so it was slow going to start with, but then I got into the swing of things and I was ahead in my wordcount goals.


Then I got sick and didn't write anything for a couple of days. Which got me ever so slightly behind.


And now I've just lost interest in my story. I don't think it's long enough to be a proper book, which is fine. I mean, I understand that there is worth in writing anything, but I usually write with the plan that I will publish the book I'm writing down the road. And I don't think this story will be long enough for that.


I'm coming to the end of the story, but for some reason, I just cannot convince myself to write it! I've written less than a thousand words a day for days now, and I'm tempted tonight to just turn in without writing anything at all.


I do want to finish this story. It's almost over, and so what if it turns out to be a novella? Novellas are fun, too! And I want to win NaNo so I can wear the spiffy shirt I've already bought and have sitting in my closet.


So why can't I do it already?! Aaaargh!!!

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